Emotionally Focused Therapy - EFT Therapy
Is your relationship struggling with things like betrayal, trust or communication?
Do you feel like there is excessive conflict in your relationship or family?
Are you and your partner constantly facing the same issues over and over without making any progress through them?
Do you feel disconnected from your partner?
If you answered yes to any of those questions, there is a type of therapy that may be perfect for you.
Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) is an approach to psychotherapy that is used to strengthen attachment and healthy bonds in adult relationships. Its focus is on creating a deeper emotional awareness to improve attachment, communication and create a more positive and secure bond.
There often comes a time in relationships, both intimate and not, where things just don’t seem to be working in a healthy way. Whether it’s trust issues, communication challenges or poor conflict resolution, there are numerous reasons why relationships can suffer. An incredibly helpful tool in working to strengthen and better your relationships, is seeking the help of a licensed therapist or counselor. Often having the space to face your issue in the presence of an experienced third-party can offer your relationship a completely new perspective and set of tools to navigate whatever hardship you are facing.
What is EFT Therapy?
Within general counseling, there are several individual approaches and modes of behavioral therapy. Each therapist has their own individual set of specialties and specific trainings, so learning about what your provider has to offer before seeking their help is always a wise idea.
One of those therapeutic approaches is EFT, or, Emotionally Focused Therapy. EFT is a person-centered type of psychotherapy that is used to strengthen intimate or family relationships. It operates on the idea that our emotions are a significant piece of our identity and works to help individuals be more emotionally aware and better able to function in healthy, strong relationships through the use of emotional identification and communication.
History of EFT
Emotionally focused therapy is one of the first established couples therapy approaches and has since become one of the most effective and widely used in couples counseling today. It was created in 1980 by Dr. Les Greenberg and Dr. Sue Johnson because there was a lack of standardized approaches in couple’s therapy thus far. Although it wasn’t a completely original idea. They admittedly pulled many of the elements from their studies of the work of Attachment Theory (John Bowlby), Structural Theories (Salvador Minuchin) and Experiential Theory (Carl Rogers).
The attachment style we establish in our most early formative years is strongly correlated to the way we operate in our relationships later in life, especially in intimate relationships. Greenberg and Johnson took their understanding of the importance of attachment theory and emotional awareness and co-created the fundamentals of EFT; which began as a foundation for couples therapy and has since grown to be used in family therapy as well as individual therapy.
Who benefits from EFT?
EFT for Individuals
EFT can be used in individual behavioral therapy.
The goal of using EFT in individual counseling would be to not only increase the depth of emotional awareness and acceptance, but also to develop skills to manage, utilize and control emotions to better serve you in your life and relationships. It is commonly used to help you navigate life’s challenges and your relationships and to help encourage a generally healthier way of existing.
It isn’t used to treat specific symptoms for illness, however, it has been proven to aide in the treatment of common known mental health challenges.
Typically, EFT is most effective on individuals suffering with:
Bipolar disorder
Depression
ADHD
Anxiety
Eating disorders
Childhood abuse or neglect
Borderline personality disorders
EFT for Couples
EFT is most commonly and most effectively used in couples therapy or marriage counseling. Because the main focus of EFT is how to operate emotionally in relationships and maintain healthy attachment, it is highly effective in building stronger and healthier intimate adult relationships. Couples who are in distress can often benefit greatly from the use of EFT and its abilities to form closer bonds and healthier attachment styles.
Some issues that can be addressed and worked through using emotionally focused therapy are:
Infidelity
Betrayal
Loss of trust
Anger or conflict
Unhealthy attachment
Individual illnesses in either partner
Codependency
If you and your partner are currently experiencing any of the challenges listed above, it may be time to seek the help of a counselor. At Insight Northwest Counseling we have an incredible team of licensed therapists who specialize in EFT and other therapy approaches that would benefit your relationship.
EFT for Families
While EFT began as a foundational therapy practice for intimate relationships, it has since has developed and become extremely successful in family therapy practices. Utilizing emotion focused therapy practices in family counseling can help to create deeper feelings of trust, stronger communication, mutual respect and generally closer bond within a family system. Often in families, the conflict is caused from a lack of open, honest communication. EFT is designed to help individuals in the relationship to recognize their feelings and offer them the tools and space to articulate them in a way that encourages closeness.
Some issues in a family that would benefit from the use of emotionally focused therapy are:
Lack of trust
Poor communication
General distance in the family
Constant misunderstanding or conflict
Betrayal
Family counseling can be profoundly impactful on the dynamic of a family and every individual involved. We are happy to be able to offer family counseling services with the use of emotionally focused therapy. If your family is in the position to initiate the support of a professional, we are here to help you.
How does EFT Therapy work?
Because this type of therapy is used in many different circumstances for different sets of challenges, the process isn’t always exactly the same. However, the general principle of EFT is to identify unhealthy patterns that are established in the individual or couple and offer a safe, non-judgmental and comfortable space to further explore the deeper reason for those patterns. The EFT therapist will work to help each individual acknowledge their emotions, understand them and work with them to approach communicating their emotions in a way that will help them grow closer to their partner. The therapist will help the individual, couple or family to then adjust their patterns to communicate and solve problems in a healthier and more productive way.
While the structure of emotionally focused therapy can vary depending on the professional you are seeking help from, there are three core stages, comprised of a total of nine steps, that are always followed in the process of EFT treatment.
Stage One: De-escalation
Step 1 Assessment: Identify conflict issues and assess how these issues display fundamental conflicts regarding attachment bonds; connectedness vs. disconnectedness and dependence vs. independence.
Step 2 Identify negative interaction patterns or cycles.
Step 3 Take a deeper look into each person’s emotions and feelings that are contributing to each position in the negative pattern.
Step 4 Work to form a deeper understanding or different perspective on the conflict (reframing), increasing awareness of the emotions that are fueling the cycle and the attachment needs.
Stage Two: Restructuring
Step 5 Step into a place of vulnerability in sharing your own needs and aspects of yourself that have been hidden or protected.
Step 6 Show up in a caring, safe, understanding and compassionate way to meet your partner in their place of vulnerability – allowing them to feel encouraged and supported in their feelings and emotions.
Step 7 Restructure the interaction to create emotional connection and engagement. This stage provides and facilitates a time for expression and honest communication in a way that allows both partners to move through conflict and also improve and strengthen a healthy attachment style.
Stage Three: Consolidation of Change
Step 8 This stage is when the therapist helps the couples and families to recognize and demonstrate the new solutions and patterns to highlight the growth from the pre-existing relationship issues. Once the people in the relationship can acknowledge the ways in which their patterns have changed, they can then proceed to facilitate them in life outside of therapy.
Step 9 Demonstrate the positive changes and newfound emotional closeness and healthy attachment styles in real-life situations.
EFT has been an exceedingly successful approach to therapy in individuals, couples and families, with several positive outcome studies. EFT is used widely not only to strengthen relationships through distress, betrayal and issues with trust and attachment style, but also to improve individual partner’s attachment style and improve emotional awareness and expression.
If you are interested in learning more about EFT therapy or are ready to meet with one of our team members to begin your journey through EFT, book an appointment with us online today.