Tips to Overcome Self-Doubt
Have you ever thought to yourself, “I’m not _________ enough to get that job,” or “maybe if I was a little more _________ I would be successful,”?
If you have had those thoughts, or any of the like, you have experienced self-doubt. Don’t worry, you’re not alone. Everyone has experienced self-doubt at some point; some more than others. In life we find ourselves up against many challenges, and it’s natural when you face those challenges to begin doubting yourself, questioning your ability and having feelings of inadequacy. While self-doubt is a very normal and common human experience, it’s not something you should or have to sit with forever. With the proper help and resources, you can escape the feelings of inadequacy and doubt and lead a happy, confident life. Keep reading for some helpful tips to overcome self-doubt.
What does self-doubt feel like?
Self-doubt shows up in many different ways in our day to day life; relationships, friendships, work, parenthood, and many other areas. It is the overwhelming sense of inadequacy in anything regarding or related to the self. It could be the feeling that you aren’t capable of finishing a task or completing it as well as one of your coworkers. It could be the feeling of unworthiness of a relationship, like you aren’t enough and certainly don’t deserve your partner. The constant comparison of yourself to those around you becomes loud and damaging to your health.
Signs of self-doubt may also look like…
Constant comparison of yourself to those around you
Not feeling worthy or deserving of your achievements
Not feeling capable of achieving the tasks in front of you
Feeling like a fraud or imposter (imposter syndrome)
Seeking approval from others to feel validated
Feeling like you are constantly failing or falling short
Why do we experience self-doubt?
The root of self-doubt isn’t the same for all people and isn’t always easy to uncover. But typically, with the help of a good therapist, you can better understand where your self-doubt stems from. Knowing the common causes for self-doubt can often help people heal from and manage it. For many people it can be the result of childhood relationships or experiences, being hardwired by an influential figure to believe we aren’t “enough”. But in today’s culture, the biggest trigger for self-doubt is the comparison of ourselves to those around us. If we are constantly sizing ourselves up to the person beside us, we are bound to question ourselves. Add the ever-booming social media trends and self-doubt is able to thrive more than ever.
Regardless of the reason why we experience it, self-doubt is a difficult, isolating and overwhelming feeling to experience.
If it’s left unresolved, it can lead to more serious and less manageable conditions such as…
Depression
Anxiety
Isolation
Lack of motivation
Procrastination
Failed or suffering relationships
Extremely low self-esteem
How to overcome self-doubt
1. Give yourself grace.
An integral part of coping with and then healing from self-doubt, is to give yourself an abundance of grace. Giving yourself grace is to be kind and gentle with yourself. Practice good self-care; take a bath, journal daily, watch your favorite movie, or exercise regularly. If you are experiencing self-doubt there is a good chance you are spending a lot of time beating yourself up. Don’t be so hard on yourself and practice self-compassion. Often times, we give others the grace we should be giving ourselves. Think about what you would say to a good friend if they were in your shoes. It’s likely that you would build them up, soothe their fears, and use kind words to make them feel better. That is what you need to be doing for yourself. Understand that you are doing the best you can and that is always enough.
2. Be mindful of your thoughts.
The thoughts we have each day are more powerful than we all realize. Inevitably, we become what we think; good and bad. If you have thoughts of doubt, inadequacy and insecurity on loop in your mind – eventually you believe those thoughts. Be mindful of where your thoughts are and if they are positive or negative. If you are stuck in a space of negative thinking, take notice and derail that train. Be intentional about your thoughts and remind yourself of good, positive and hopeful things in your life. Try not to let your mind fixate on things that don’t serve you, and instead pour your mind and energy into something that does. Pick a positive thing that happened that day to think about. Think about a positive relationship in your life, or someone you’re simply just thankful for. Think about something you’re looking forward to that week or even just what you’re going to have for dinner. Keep your mind and thoughts focused on things that will feed you, not starve you.
3. Limit your social media.
They say that comparison is the thief of joy, and “they” are right. The reality is, absolutely nothing positive or productive comes from comparing yourself to others. And unfortunately, social media is a breeding ground for comparison. The world of social media is growing every minute. A staggering percentage of our world’s population can be found on a social media platform. And while there are some positives to social media (connecting to others, social media marketing, building community and friendships), there are also a lot of negatives aspects. Comparison being one of the most prevalent.
Social media often serves as a “highlight reel” for people using it, in that they only share the positive and good aspects of their life. It leads their audience to believe that their life is “perfect”, leaving them all to feel less than or wondering why their life isn’t as amazing. When it comes to social media, the most important thing you can do is remind yourself that everyone who uses it is just like you; human. If social media is a driving force in your self-doubt, limit your use or eliminate it altogether. You will benefit greatly from abstaining from social media use when it comes to lifting your self-esteem.
4. Surround yourself with a supportive community.
There are people that better you and fuel your soul, and then there are the people that, well…don’t. When you are struggling to overcome self-doubt, you really don’t have the luxury or bandwidth to maintain friendships with people that don’t build you up. If you have friends that remind you of your worth, speak positively of and to you, bring you love, support and comfort – surround yourself with those ones often. Soak in their energy and positivity and let it be contagious. Believe them. And the friendships that don’t serve you in that way – put those ones on the backburner for now. A community is hugely vital in avoiding isolation, but if you are intentional about who that community is you can help save yourself from so many feelings of self-doubt.
5. Know that you are not alone.
Everyone struggles with self-doubt at one point in their life, and that’s the truth. There is a great chance that someone or multiple people in your immediate circle are struggling with some of the same feelings you are. Of course, you don’t want others to suffer, but there is beauty in solidarity. Sometimes knowing that you aren’t alone in your pain is enough to drive you to keep going, even through misery.
Seek help to deal with self-doubt
If you are struggling with self-doubt, it’s time to stop making excuses, stop comparing yourself to others, and seek help. Through therapy, you can learn to cope with and even beat self-doubt. Spend time working through your feelings of inadequacy and comparison and you will be able to live a much more productive and positive life. Making the choice to escape self-doubt and better yourself shows great strength and resilience, further proving your capability and strength.
If you are ready to take the leap and seek help, we are here for you. We offer in-person or online therapy through telehealth, if that is a better option for you. We are ready to walk by your side through your struggles with self-doubt, all you have to do is reach out. You’ve got this.