PACT Couples Therapy
What is Couples Therapy?
Couples counseling can be an effective and safe way for partners to work through difficult times in their relationship and improve communication, intimacy, and overall satisfaction in a judgment-free environment.
There are several challenges that come up that can result in a couple choosing to explore therapy together:
Communication Issues
Infidelity (emotional or physical)
Sexual Problems
Life Transitions
Differences in Parenting Styles
Lack of Emotional Intimacy
At Insight Northwest Counseling, we are trained in a variety of methods to help partners address underlying challenges, and come up with a collaborative plan that works for you.
We utilize Emotional Focused Therapy, the Gottman Method, Solution Focused Therapy, Family Systems Therapy, Narrative Therapy, and our newest service, the PACT Approach, to tailor treatment plans to our clients’ needs.
Click here to learn more about couples counseling with us, or schedule a FREE consultation with one of our team members today to find a Couples Therapist that is right for you.
The Difference between Couples Counseling and Individual Therapy
Individual therapy and couples counseling are two different forms of therapeutic approaches that are designed to address issues and concerns in your life.
Individual Therapy
Individual therapy, like the name suggests, is a one-on-one therapy session that focuses on your personal growth, emotional regulation, goals, and coping mechanisms for any mental health issues you may be experiencing. This kind of therapy can help to process issues related to anxiety, depression, trauma, mental health, and addiction. In working with a therapist, you explore the underlying causes of these concerns, and develop strategies to deal with them.
Couples Counseling
Couples counseling is designed to assist couples in addressing relationship issues collectively, and improve communication and connection.
These sessions can be used to process and identify issues in the relationship, and challenge both partners to take responsibility for the health of their relationship. The ultimate goal of couples therapy is to form a securely attached relationship, and give you resources to improve how your relationship functions in daily life.
Aside from the obvious difference– sessions for one vs. two people– individual and couples counseling focus on different objectives. One is aimed at the sole improvement of your own life through processing individual trauma and developing resources to function in the day-to-day. The other is focused on the unit, or couple, attending sessions together with the aim of improving the way your relationship functions and giving you tools to communicate effectively. Both kinds of therapy seek to give coping mechanisms, process and validate challenges, and explore the cause behind any dysfunctional behaviors.
What is Attachment Theory?
In order to understand most relationship dynamics, it is important to understand the basics of attachment theory. Most attachment styles are developed in childhood and adolescence. It is believed that children need to bond with at least one caregiver within the first six months of life, and this bond is crucial to regulating emotions, identifying stimuli, and interacting with others in their families and social groups.
Basically, the way your attachment style develops in childhood, has a profound impact on your adult relationships.
Attachment theory suggests that there are four main attachment styles:
Secure
Anxious
Avoidant
Fearful
Someone with securely attached relationships tends to be comfortable with intimacy and is able to trust and depend on others in their family unit and partnerships. Those with insecure attachments can be overly dependent, insecure, emotionally distant or avoidant, and fearful of rejection or abandonment.
Learning about the attachment styles present in your relationship dynamic can be a great place to start when approaching all forms of couples therapy.
How Does PACT Work?
The PACT (Psychobiological Approach to Couples Therapy) approach to couples counseling focuses on the root of adult attachment.
Developed by Dr. Stan Tatkin in the early 2000s, the PACT approach believes that humans are wired for connection and that our attachment patterns determine how we interact with our partners in any relationships.
The PACT approach can be helpful in a number of forms of couple therapy. We focus on its use with couples in distress, premarital counseling, marriage counseling, and sex therapy. A large benefit to the PACT method, and a large part of why we have added it to our services, is that the PACT approach to couples counseling typically takes less time than traditional counseling methods. This is due to the strong focus on the current moment in each session, and the recreation and processing of triggering interactions to allow for deep interaction, retrospection, and time to process and heal with the supervision of a mental health professional.
This method has the perspective that the people in a couple are not just individuals, but a unique entity with its own dynamics and patterns. Our PACT therapists work with couples to identify and strengthen their bond, understand each other’s needs, and work collaboratively on conflict resolution to build a more fulfilling relationship.
Additionally, this approach emphasizes the importance of secure functioning principles: mutual respect, equity, and fairness. By fostering a shared sense of responsibility in these sessions, we help couples to lay the foundation for unions that can withstand the challenges of daily life.
What to Expect from a PACT Session
If you are engaging in couples counseling, it is important to know what to expect from a session. Not only can this help you feel less stressed going into the session, but knowing what to expect can also help you be more invested in the outcome.
All therapists will be slightly different in their approach to sessions, but there are a few commonalities that you can expect from a PACT session:
Observing the moment:
A large emphasis is placed on moment-to-moment shifts in each person’s face, body, and voice. Our PACT therapists take note of these shifts during the session, and ask you to pay close attention to these as a couple. For example, you may be in the session with a large frown and your arms crossed. There are a lot of emotions there that want to be heard and understood. During your session, your therapist will pause at an appropriate time, direct the attention of the session to the hurt party, and allow you to express your emotions. When you feel seen and understood, frustrations can dissipate and solutions can often present themselves.
Curating reactions:
Your therapist will set up experiences that mirror those troubling your relationship and help you work through any issues that arise in the moment during your session. When we get too emotional, we lash out and act on instinct. This makes it harder to understand each other and empathize. These set-ups allow your therapist to help you manage your feelings and allow you to actually listen to one another.
Immediate feedback:
In addition to your therapist’s real-time notes on your reactions, they may also videotape sessions to be able to reference specific moments of conflict or breakthrough to provide you with in-depth, immediate feedback. This will help you learn how to recognize your automatic reactions, and how they impact your partner during communication.
The PACT approach can often result in less sessions over time than traditional relationship counseling. Couples will be provided with immediate feedback, and a high focus will be put on your reactions—verbal, physical, and otherwise. The idea is that by creating a safe space for deep interaction, retrospection, and time to process with the supervision of a mental health professional, you will be able to better work through the challenges you are facing, and learn how to communicate more effectively together.
Work With Us
Overall, PACT therapy is an effective and innovative approach to couples therapy that can deepen partners’ understanding of each other, build stronger connections, and improve the overall quality of your relationship. Whether you are experiencing communication issues, struggling with intimacy or infidelity, or just want to improve your relationship in the general sense, our team of mental health providers can help!
Our sessions provide a safe, supportive, non-judgmental space for you to explore your attachment patterns, and develop key techniques to foster happier and healthier relationships.
Schedule a FREE consultation today with a member of our team to learn more about PACT counseling!